How To: Train your Sonicfag

So you've got yourself a brand new Sonicfag, eagar to beat the living hell out of it. The following guide will help you do so properly.


Before even taking your sonicfag out of the box, look at it's name. Common names include: tailsfan, sonicfan, ilovesonic, mariosucks, linksucks, supersonic, etc. If you have So-and-So the Hedgehog (or other animals), you should immediatly call over your negros to do a drive-by shooting. This also applies to hideous recolors. Now, if you have the former (that means the first one, dumbass) type of sonicfag, you should continue reading. Otherwise, really really kill them right away.


Usually, if a sonicfag finds a computer, it goes on the nearest respectable site and demolishes it with it's own club. However, this can be stopped by only giving them enough food to survive and not complain. You can also give them a few sonic games to watch them suffer...because you better of not charged that handheld device.


Unlike negros, sonicfags are fragile little pansies. However, they can be house identically. Just stick them into a dark, cold cage with about 200 other sonicfags. Watch them scream about their recolors and calling them, "ORIGINAL CHARACTER DON'T STEAL!!!!"

ENTERTAINING YOURSELF WITH A SONICFAG

Note the title. You can't entertain a sonicfag, because they always complain even if you gave them the rights to SEGA. Anyways, you can beat them slightly, or just lie to them about the next game. They're pretty much useless except for the lulz.


Everything a sonicfag does is a malfunction in humanity.


Sonicfags can be deadly. They have been known to swarm normal people for liking Megaman, Zelda, or Mario. Luckily, normal people don't express their feelings about those...unless you want the word fag strapped on your back.

Next time, How To: Train your Gaiafag.

Rotfl.